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“Walking on the Fighting Side of Me”

By on July 30th, 2013 in Football, Other Sports 11 Comments »

winner10 - I believe in Auburn and love itI can be an angry kind of guy sometimes. Often when I am in the confines of my home, office, or car, some minor annoyance will cause me to start spouting out words and phrases that my mother CERTAINLY NEVER taught me nor approves. Nonetheless, rarely do I unload any kind of anger or even sarcasm directly towards anyone in person or on the Internet.

However, there are a few things for which I will not stand nor stay silent. Spreading patent lies about any subject about which I am knowledgeable (like my faith) is one. Another is a different kind of lie—two lies, actually—that most of you reading here have heard many, many times over the past two to three years.

As some of you may have read in a previous article of mine, I have no trouble at all with rival fans’ good-natured ribbings of Auburn or Auburn sports—it’s part of what makes following sports and being a fan worthwhile. And I can even ignore simple nasty razzes like “Auburn SUCKS” and just consider the source. But there are two things I will not tolerate from a Bama fan on a sports bulletin board or in person:

1) The statement “Auburn bought Cam Newton,” and 2) The epithet “little brother.”

I am going to post a transcript of a “discussion” I had on a Facebook group of which I am a member—a group that has nothing to do with AU, Bama, or football. I am not doing this for self-validation, or so you can see what a knight-in-shining-armor I was to the damsel-in-distress that is AU, or just to display a feeling of “backside hurt” requiring your sympathy to “make it all better.” I’m doing this more to make sure that you people (folks whose opinion I respect) didn’t think I went off the handle inappropriately, and to give us all a chuckle at the sheer stupidity from the “dark side” on display here.

The original poster teases his pals that Bama won’t win another National Championship, and some of his Bama-fan friends respond in truly good humor. Then I just pop in with a simple, non-obnoxious “WAR DAM EAGLE”—that’s when the bull manure starts from one of the Bama fans.

I am sick of hearing “Cam Newton” and “bought” in the same sentence, and I am NOT going to sit by and hear that crud. I wouldn’t have launched into this person if it weren’t for that and the “little brother” garbage. I have NO respect for anyone who pulls out those two anti-AU statements. Of course, the vapidity of “Bama #1” (the names have been changed to protect the idiotic) doesn’t end there—read for yourself:


Original Poster: Alabama will not win another national championship and Johnny Football has a drinking problem because of Sharknato

Bama #1: You Sir speak Blasphemy. ROLL TIDE!

Bama #2: Good thing Big Daddy is not around to hear you say that. ROLL TIDE!!!!!!!!

Bama #3: we’ll just see how good your predictive powers are….

Original Poster: Sharknato knows.

Bama #4: Roooooollll Tide! Ramma Jamma! Yellow Hammer! Give em’ hell Alabama!!!!

ME: All you Bama folks, listen up–WAR DAM EAGLE!!!

Bama #1: Hey Mike You only bought Cam for one year. Shut up.and get used to be little bro again.

ME: Oh boy, [Bama #1] is just another Bama genius who can’t accept the reality that AU beat them fair and square, and that NOTHING NOTHING NOTHING against the rules happened in the Cam situation with regard to Auburn (and nothing actually wrong happened except Cam’s father being an idiot with Miss. St.). And you know, you seem to be the guys obsessed with AU, not the other way around–so WHO is the REAL little brother, brother?

Bama #1: 15-2 I can accept you having a National Championship every fifty years no problem cuz.

ME: And [Bama #1] can’t even count REAL championships (including a bunch of fake ones)! Can’t read NCAA reports, can’t count, yeah, a real BAMA fellow there for sure!

Bama #1: Tell you what mikey. How many you barners wanna give us? 15, the 6 Coach Bryant won? Coach Stallings Championship?, the Three we have with Coach Saban?. Cool so we have 10 and if we use your logic you have 1 modern day. Works for me

ME: No, it’s 10 and 2, 1957 is just as modern as yours. Now, it’s a fact that y’all do have more (at least you have that much of the math right). Plus, if AU counted the way you do, it’s 15-9 and you still have more. And you know what, WE are just fine with that fact. SO, why are you SO freaking insecure and have to use “Got 15” AND why do you even want to take away one of AU’s LEGITIMATE championships in this discussion? Looks like you just proved who is the little brother, even if you have more championships.

Bama #1: You need a hug?

Bama #1: So little bro making big bro feel inadequate?

ME: There you go again, the classic defense mechanisms of displaced anger and projection–since your words are worthless, other than to prove my own case, go ahead and have the last comment–goodbye.


The constant stream of idiocy on display here by “Bama #1” is simply amazing. But the main point I want to emphasize is the second-to-last comment I made. I have no problem acknowledging that Alabama has more National Championships, more SEC Championships, and more general success on the gridiron than does Auburn. I was even glad that Alabama crushed the pretenders known as Notre Dame into the ground last January (I hope that opinion does not get me deposed from my position here). What I just cannot understand is WHY these Bama fans must characterize AU as the “little brother”—a phrase that conveys much, much more inferiority than just being second-place in football success—and why most of these Crimson-clad Internet posters seem obsessed with denigrating AU for something it didn’t even do.

Well, I am NOBODY’S little brother (except to my older sister, of course). AU is NOBODY’S little brother at all. Furthermore, I will never, never, NEVER let pass the statement that “AU bought Cam” without picking the utterer of said statement apart and feasting on his or her bones. And I won’t be accused of “meanness” when I defend the truth in any context, much less when it involves AU itself.

Although after reading the transcript through a few more times again, I do have to say that I wasn’t very polite to this Bama fan, even from the beginning. But I don’t think I said anything that wasn’t true or fair game, especially following the aforementioned bull manure in his response to me.

Well, what do you think, folks?  Was I merely acting “backside hurt” or self-righteous, or did I do my best to properly put an Internet moron in his place? How would y’all have handled this? I am curious to know, especially after my last article regarding being a good example as an Auburn man or woman.

I hope I did not dishonor any of you in my actions, but this kind of passion is the direction in which I will always err in my love for Auburn. I await my judgment from you, my peers.

Michael Val

(who stands up for Auburn, and won’t fall for anything!)


  1. Malakai Malakai says:

    Why even engage? You know the outcome of the conversation before it even starts. Unless you’re getting some sort of thrill out of it I don’t see the point in debating Bama fans.

  2. Third Generation Tiger Third Generation Tiger says:

    You didn’t do anything that I haven’t done. I try not to engage in football conversations, face to face or internet variety, with your garden variety bammer. Sometimes however it’s unavoidable. I have had such encounters with very few Bama fans that actually attended college there. The numbskulls tend to be your stereotypical sidewalk bammer. When it does happen I always feel like my IQ dropped significantly and I feel the need to bathe.

    So in a nutshell I approve of, and endorse your actions.

    Defend the Faith! WDE!!!

  3. MyAuburn MyAuburn says:

    I always remember this quote, the authors name escapes me right now.

    It is not fair to get into a battle of wits with someone who is unarmed.

  4. uglyjoe says:

    1. In a pissing match, everybody gets wet.
    2. The Auburn Creed
    3. Read “God and Football” by Chad Gibbs….best book I’ve read this year.
    4. Do as I say, not as I do, because I am a hypocrite.

  5. Todd92 Todd92 says:

    Give’em hell Michael… Buck Fama and their inbred entitled fanbase.

  6. War_Eagle_2010 War_Eagle_2010 says:

    Proverbs 26:4-5 “Do not answer a fool according to his folly, or you yourself will be just like him. Answer a fool according to his folly, or he will be wise in his own eyes”

    Sometimes you have to speak up, other times you have to be silent. I think this verse is applicable in this case.

  7. DBAU81 says:

    The problem with most Bammers who make these kind of comments is that they have no connection to the school other than the football team. Much of their self-esteem is wrapped up in the success or failure of the Tide, and therefore they tend to lash out blindly whenever they feel threatened. The most interesting thing is that you don’t have to say something negative about Alabama to provoke this reaction. All you have to do is say something positive about Auburn. It’s funny how, even though they love to portray us as the “little brother,” they are the ones who exhibit all the traits of an insecure younger sibling during many of these exchanges.

  8. AubieCE AubieCE says:

    Wrestling with a pig will get you covered in mud and make the pig happy….

  9. Tiger on the mountain Tiger on the mountain says:

    Dude, don’t feed the elephants.

    They’re stuck on Cam because in their wretched little minds, he’s the only reason that we mounted the greatest comeback in football history on their home turf.

    They bring up ‘little brother’ this and that, because it gets under our skin. Every single time.

    Take away their toys and put them in time out….that’s about all you can do*.

    *this is easy for me to say, because I live in the Great Plains. No one baits me into vapid meaningless conversations except for the Penn St grad down the hallway….which really doesn’t even count. (for a variety of reasons)

  10. theoldguard says:

    Mike, I agree with Malakai-why even engage…

    second, and I hope you take this the right way, you got owned (I believe that’s what the kids say these days) because 1) it appears they baited you into the exchange & you took the bait & you engaged in an unwinnable argument with them & 2) the post here seems very defensive, which reeks of a need to try to validate one’s points (though I agree with them)

    i guarantee you that idiot is still laughing & your sitting here crying

    • mvhcpa says:

      The oldguard,

      Thank you for the comment, although I disagree with being owned–unless “ownership” is determined by the amount of BS insults that are spewed. I think I clearly showed what a moron this guy was, and how he will never accept it, even when it is pointed out to him.

      If you notice, he never answered any of my challenges other than to recount the championships, and even then, he subtracted one from AU on no other basis than it was before Bear’s run.

      Actually, it was the Bama fans who were being good-naturedly baited by the original poster, and they took that bait in stride and in fun. I guess I was also seeing what kind of response (hopefully equally good-natured) I could get from the Bama fans. However, with the Cam and little brother comments, I consider myself to have been baited in the same way a fellow punched in the face is “baited” into a fight. Again, I won’t stand for those two lies without answering back.

      Michael Val
      (who isn’t crying, other than crying at the sad state of affairs that idiots like the Bama fan are allowed to breathe the air)