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Top Ten Reasons Why Jeremy Elder Committed Armed Robbery

By on February 22nd, 2008 in Football Comments Off

War Eagle Atlanta posted this in the diary section yesterday and without question it deserves front page status. It’s hilarious. Enjoy…

From the Home Office in Marietta, GA, War Eagle Atlanta’s Top Ten Reasons Why Jeremy Elder Committed Armed Robbery on Campus at Tuscaloosa:

  1. Wanted to get more attention with all those blue chippers coming in.
  1. The Houndstooth cap made him do it.
  1. Just getting some extra workouts until spring drills start.
  1. Too far to walk to do it off-campus.
  1. $26 goes a long way at the student cafeteria.
  1. The bitch set him up!
  1. Wanted to move from strong safety to strong-armer.
  1. Wanted to start preparing for a life after football.
  1. Secret role model is Ryan Perrilloux.

And the number one reason:

  1. Lab practical for Criminology class…


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