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Time for a Little Justice in East Alabama

By on June 18th, 2012 in Football Comments Off
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After 18 months of traveling around the state like some quasi celebrity in the world of Alabama football, reality hits hard this week for confessed Toomer’s tree killer Harvey Updyke. Jury selection is expected to begin on Tuesday in Lee County with opening arguments tentatively set for Thursday.

Despite spending time posing for pictures with fans at the BCS National Championship in January and then making an appearance at an Alabama softball game in May, Updyke’s lawyers notified the courts last week of “the fragile state of the defendant’s health.”

I suppose if I was about to become somebody’s “boy toy” for the foreseeable future, my health may take a hit. Updyke’s lawyer blames his health issues on diabetes.

He shouldn’t worry. I bet old Bubba in the state pen will be glad to administer those insulin shots in the ass each evening. I just hope Bubba’s an Auburn fan.

Since admitting to poisoning the oaks at Toomer’s Corner with Spike 80df during an interview on the Paul Finebaum Radio Show in early 2011, it’s been quite a publicity whirlwind for the 63 year-old Alabama fan.

Now on his fourth defense attorney, Updyke makes many of his Lee County court appearances wearing Alabama themed ties. Now I’m no Philadelphia lawyer, but I know stupid when I see it. Can you say moron?

In April 2011, in what can only be assumed to be a staged event, Updyke claims he was jumped by an unknown and unseen assailant behind the Tiger Express gas station in Opelika. No customers or employees reported seeing anything out of the ordinary on that day.

Opelika police Capt. Allan Elkins reported at the time that Updyke’s only injuries were a small scratch to the head. Of course, that didn’t stop Updyke’s attorney from making a quick call to the Finebaum show to promote the assault.

Rumors swirled earlier this year that a plea bargain of 42 months behind bars was turned down by Updyke and his current legal team. One can only assume the prosecution will be looking for much more following a conviction.

Now the good times are over for Alabama’s popular fanboy. All the autographs, pats on the back and pictures with fans are in the past. When convicted he’ll likely spend the last productive years (if there were ever any) behind bars, far away from the adulation of his twisted fan base.

I don’t know about you, but I’m looking forward to a little justice being handed out in the next week. There will be no sorrow in my heart for this punk. I hope he and Bubba have quality cell time for many football seasons to come.

War Damn Eagle!

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