The Most Powerful University in Alabama (and maybe the world)
Auburn University is located in East Alabama and shares the state with the University of Alabama. It’s well
documented that the Crimson Tide is the greatest athletic entity in the entire known universe with a
Superhero football coach who never wastes time walking on water since he can fly. Followers, fans, and
alumni will also admit, under extreme duress, that Bama also has an education system and will then claim
it’s also the greatest. Howthen could anyone in his or her right mind proclaim Auburn as most powerful
you might (and will ask) ? Let me enlighten you.
First, the State of Alabama and the other States to which Bama folks have migrated have roughly a 1,236
to 1 advantage in numbers over Auburn. The U of A has a much larger name recognition all over the
world and parts of West Virginia. Transients, aliens(terrestrial and otherwise ), and migrants to the State
of Alabama are immediatelysurrounded by Bama fans and forced to choose an allegiance to one school
or the other. The combination of threats of bodily harm and the aforementioned large Bama name
recognition naturally tends to make the decision quite easy.
Next, there are forces constantly at work promoting UA while denigrating all things Auburn. The Machine
at UA controls not only the campus but to a large degree, State politics and politics affect Auburn both
directly and indirectly; favorably and adversely. Manywill deny the existence of The Machine which
operates like a CIA fraternity but I’ve seenand heard admissions of its existence by state politicians,
students who participate, andUA students outside the clandestine organization who dare to run for SGA
offices. There have been documented cross burnings, slight physical attacks and vociferous verbal assaults.
The most powerful force at work for UA and against AU is the state’s media. Sound paranoid ? Maybe, but
here are some facts. Two Birmingham based talk radio shows that arethe largest in coverage in the state with
one of those formerly and soon to beagain nation-wide via satellite, are staffed by UA grads and converts
with a token AU person or two toportray balance. One need only to listen to the vast majority of caller
participants to understand the agenda and direction of the shows. One also can’t begrudge radio for vying
for the highest possible Arbitron and other ratings but that seems secondary to the true agenda of the empire
birthed and nurtured by the late Bert Bank “best known as thefounder ofthe Alabama Football Radio Network”
per Wikipedia. Many in local radio don’t even know how the wheels of Bama media
domination were begun.
Here I will speculate that Mr. Bank or one his minions was responsible for bringing Paul Finebaum to
Birmingham from the obscurity of Shreveport, Louisiana to become the Minister of Propaganda for The
U of A. I personally witnessed Paul being escorted into a custom tailor shop by two welldressed gentlemen
and I’m sure the now defunct Birmingham Post Herald provided that service for all their new employees. It at
least got Finebaum outof those polyester leisure sits. Now Paul and his sycophants will argue that he will
quickly speak ill of Bama and I agree but only when it’s the party line and carries the blessing of people named
Bryant, Bromberg, Drummond, and other prominent members ofthe Crimson Society. The difference in talk
show people “joking” about Auburn and“joking” about Bama is like hitting someone on the head with an iron
pipe or a feather.Auburn gets the pipe in case you missed my symbolism.
Now let’s not forget the pen that’s mightier than the sword, eagle, or tiger. A Phoenixis rising from the rotting
carcasses of the state’s Big Three Newspapers and that bird isAL.com/Alabama Media Group/Advance
Publications, Inc. The Alabama Mediagroup is the Mother of all print and electronic media in this state and
the MotherSuperior is Ms. Cindy Martin, President/CEO and graduate of, uh, oh yeah,The University of
There’s no inference here and I understand she is a hardworking and resourceful ladywho more or less
brought the electronic media to life to supplant the dying print version while presiding overboth. What I know
for sure is I contacted her about the BirminghamNews’ heavy imbalance in choosing which reader responses
and “soundoffs” to publish, predominantly anti Auburn diatribes, even though Alabama was enjoying
unprecedented football success and nothing was chosen about that. She passed that off to Mr. KevinWendt the
content editor who informed me he would address that with the select group who decides which comments to
publish. I got immediate results. It got worse. In the for-what’ its-worth vein, my bill for Birmingham News’ 3 day a week plan was the same as I was charged for 7 days but I get access to the eversion that I already had. Whoopee!
With all that being said, it looks like I’m losing the battle to myself as to the power and dominance of one
school over the other but here’s the skinny.
In football, head-to-head with Bama, Auburn trails 42-34-1…8 games down.Since the game has moved to the
respective campuses, it’s even at 12-12.
The Wall Street Journal says Auburn’s football program is valued at 508.1 million while Bama’s is 476.0 million.
Auburn, using other school’s criteria in claiming National Championships, would have 9 which is not too shabby.
If that were to be booed and belittled, then Bama would have to start subtracting.
Finally, with Mark Emmert as president of the NCAA and a Bama grad,Derrick Crawford as Chief of the
enforcement division, Bama has a very powerful advantage over all rivals. Emmert is the former leader
of LSU and hired Nick Saban to run that program. Even though an NCAA rule prohibits amateur athletes
to promote private businesses with or without compensation, football players at Alabama have been doing
just that for at least 4years without losing eligibility as provided by rule 188.8.131.52 This covers a lot of wins and
3 crystal footballs and nothing will be done about it. Whining Aubie ? Damn straight. We endured an NCAA
colonoscopy that showed nary a polyp of impropriety, but we have sinned in the past and paid the price.
What I’m saying is Auburn can stand proudly in the shadow of the greatest program of all times and be on equal
footing despite swimming with our feet and hands tied making us “The most powerful program in history.
“Just think what we could accomplish on an even playing field. It boggles the mind !