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Straight Up: The 2014 BCS-NC Broken Down

By on January 4th, 2014 in Member Post 13 Comments »

Raise your hand if you thought Auburn would be in this position at the beginning of the year. Anyone? I thought so. I know I sure didn’t. I’m more pessimistic than most, but the biggest Auburn Homer prediction I saw in the preseason was about 9-3. I thought that was utterly ridiculous. I would have been perfectly happy with 6-6, and going to the bowl. Seven wins including the bowl win would have been one heck of a year in my book after what went down last year. I was adamant in my predictions and praying people wouldn’t get too ridiculous with their expectations. After all, Gus had one heck of a mess to clean up after last year’s disaster.

I don’t think I’ve ever been more wrong in my life.

Of course, I was not in the minority. I was in the strong majority. I had NO expectations this year other than to hope that the team fought hard and showed some improvement. I’ll take gargantuan, ridiculous exceeding of expectations for $1000 Alex. I didn’t even care if we won 6 games or made it to a bowl. All I wanted to see was a marked improvement in attitude and on field play. I mean after all, we had just gone 3-9, and 0-7 in the SEC.  We got the living excrement beat out of us by any team that was worth a damn last year. We even had to fight a little bit to beat the bad teams.

Now look at us. Look at what Gus Malzhan has done this year. It is nothing short of miraculous. Ethereal.  Godlike. I hate to use words like that to describe a frickin football season, because Lord knows the REAL deity of the universe has better things to concern Himself with than Auburn football. However, there is simply no other way to put into words the scope of what Malzhan has done.  And now, in two short nights, we will be playing for a second national title in four years.

I want to win this game. I want to shove it in the Updykes’ faces. I hate Bama fans with the fire of a million suns, and I am not alone, not just in the state of Alabama, but in the country. They are the most arrogant, delusional, trailer-trash, uneducated, disgusting, incestuous, pathetic, nose picking, booger eating, ignorant, brainless, inbred, dishonest, hypocritical sacks of elephant excrement that have ever walked the face of the earth. There is nothing that would satisfy me more than shoving another BCS-NC in their face. However, when compared to the scope of this season, if we don’t win this game, I’ll be able to live with it.

I am so proud of this team and this coaching staff that there is simply no way to put it into words. Many have called this the greatest comeback in the history of college football, and I defy you to find one better. Eight wins would have been an incredible year. Nine wins would have been unbelievable. Twelve wins and a National Championship berth borders on Sainthood. It is simply unbelievable how essentially the exact same team as last year, (with a few obvious exceptions), that couldn’t even be competitive in the SEC, is now playing for the right to call themselves the best team in the country. The only explanation is the coaching staff. Coach Malzhan and his staff have done the impossible. Of course, he has won pretty much every coaching award available this year, and I DARE you to find anyone more deserving. You won’t. The job he has done is simply amazing. We are the luckiest team in the college football world right now because we have him as our coach. Saban Schmaban. I’ll take Malzhan over a hundred Sabans, especially after Alabama’s humiliating performance Thursday night.

Now we have to face Free Shoe University. Reading their fan blogs, we are essentially getting no respect. With a few smart exceptions, most of their fans believe this game is a big waste of time, and they should just GIVE them the championship. Auburn doesn’t stand a chance. They have been lucky all year. They got lucky twice in a row with Georgia and Alabama, and Missouri played bad against them. It doesn’t matter that they were only held under 200 yards rushing once this year. It doesn’t matter that they faced the two best rushing defenses in the SEC the last two weeks and averaged over 400 yards per game against them. It doesn’t matter that they finished the year beating two Top 5 teams in two weeks. It doesn’t matter that after they played Missouri, they dropped approximately 30 positions in the national rush defense rankings. We are going to be able to do what Alabama, Georgia, Missouri, and Tennessee couldn’t do, and that is stop Auburn from running the ball. They are delusional. They should all be locked up in padded rooms

Florida State is saying the same crap that every single ‘expert’ and football talking head has said about every Auburn game for the last 2 months. “This is the week that they will be stopped! They won’t be able to run the ball against (insert top 25 team’s name here)’s defense! We’re sure this time!” I can’t believe that people are actually paid to be that wrong and stupid. Why can’t I get a job doing that? I’m smarter than most of them, and quite often more right. Now they are saying the same exact thing they’ve said every week about Auburn for the last two months and expecting that finally, this time, they are going to be right. Albert Einstein defined insanity as ‘doing the same thing over and over again expecting a different result.’ The only logical conclusion is that every football analyst and most FSU fans are completely insane and should be locked up. Either that, or just delusionally stupid.

Me?  I ain’t scared of Free Shoe U.

Why? The answer is very simple. They are the southern version of Ohio State. They dominated a schedule full of bad teams. Their best win all year was Clemson. That’s right, Clemson. They are the Georgia of the ACC … perennial underachievers. They have a major coaching problem, but that is a whole other column. They won big at Clemson. Good for them. The next best team they beat was DUKE. That’s right, DUKE. While it’s hard to take away anything from Duke this year, they ran through a weak conference and blew a three touchdown lead in a bowl game against the 3rd best SEC West team. Sure, they scored 48 points in that game, but everybody scored 48 points against ATM. Nothing special.

Supposedly their next best win was Miami, who was ranked No.7 at the time. They dominated Miami, who turned out to be another paper tiger, losing their next two games after that, got spanked in bowl game, and finished the year unranked. The best rushing team they faced all year was their closest game: Boston College. BC finished the year barely over .500 and got the living crap beat out of them by another average-on-their-best-day bowl team, losing by a LARGE double digit margin.

Bottom line: FSU has played a light schedule against bad teams, and hasn’t had to face adversity or put together 4 quarters of good football all year. They might as well be Northern Illinois. Or Ohio State. When it comes time to actually play somebody, we’ll see how good they really are. Jameis Winston looks like a world beater throwing touchdown passes to 6 foot 5 receivers against bad ACC defenses all day, but let’s see what happens when he has Dee Ford, Carl Lawson, and Nosa Eguae in his face all night. Remember Oregon and their unstoppable world beater offense? What did they score against our average on its best day SEC defense – 19?  We’ve all been down this road before, people. Remember Oklahoma vs. Florida? Oklahoma scored at will with Sam Bradford in the Big 12 against bad defenses. They were going to beat the living hell out of Florida and Tebow by three or four touchdowns because their offense was so awesome. What happened when they had to face a good SEC defense? If you said they got shut the hell down, you just won a late Christmas Turkey.

Now, that being said, I don’t believe we are going to shut them down. If we were LSU, I’d think so. But we’re not.  Our defense has been quite porous all year,with the exception of our front four. It’s actually remarkably similar to the Oregon game. Will FSU score? Yep, probably. Will they score more than us? No way in hell. They are NOT going to stop us from running the ball. If Alabama couldn’t do it, Georgia couldn’t do it, there’s no way the soft ACC defense of FSU is going to do it. They’re ranked pretty high nationally in defense, particularly rush defense. My question is against who? Yeah that’s right, against a bunch of bad teams. It’s easy to look awesome when you play a pathetic schedule. But Ohio State has already proven the following point this year, as has Northern Illinois: You can’t go through a schedule playing crappy teams and then claim you are the best because you didn’t lose to any of them. Put Mississippi State on FSU’s schedule, they win 10 or 11 games and are playing in a BCS bowl. They just beat the living snot out of the C-USA Champion, who had a 10-3 record. This is a 6-6 bottom of the barrel SEC team. Mississippi State had their scrubs in by the end of the 3rd quarter. The last couple of series they were rotating between their 4th and 5th string QB. MSU’s biggest problem is that they play in the SEC West. Put them in the ACC and they are perennial contenders.

Strength of schedule matters, no matter what the FSU fans say. Of course, nobody seems to believe it, even after the last 7 years of underdog SEC teams showing up and beating the tar out of the other conference champs in the BCS-NC game. I see no reason why this will be different. Notre Dame fans were sure that they were going to stop Alabama. After all, they were undefeated and Bama had a loss. That game was over in a quarter and a half. FSU fans think this is going to be the most lopsided championship game since USC/Oklahoma.

They can keep their delusions up. They amuse me. What’s more amusing will be all the ‘what the hell just happened’ blogs Tuesday morning. Auburn has a much better chance than anyone thinks. We can play football.  People conveniently forget the phantom touchdown by Aaron Murray on 4th down in the Georgia game. They just remember the miracle pass. People forget that for 59:59 of the Iron Bowl, Auburn played the #1 team in the country dead even 28-28. They just remember the runback.

Underestimate this team and this conference at your peril.  It’s been seven years, boys … I’d think you’d have learned by now.   


  1. mvhcpa says:

    Yep, that about sums it up, Cap’n (love those metaphors, too)!

    Michael Val
    (who isn’t as sure the BCS is an Auburn slam-dunk, but it sure won’t go the way the FSU internet says it will)

  2. wde1988 wde1988 says:

    I know what you mean. We have seen massive improvement, but enough to get to the national championship? Until the bama game… I would have simply avoided the question. Thank God that we found our competitive fire.

    Saying that, I think as a family we need to look at ourselves in the mirror and ask a simple question. Do want to act like the Updykes? I would warn ‘no’.

    Did you see the video of the bama Mom at the Sugar bowl? Ridculous behavior. And while I know the full measure of hate you are referring to…. we must find a way to put it behind us. The game is played by the young men on the field. Fans must find a way to be civil, both in winning and losing.

    Well, enough preaching. 🙂 Besides, God always pulls for the underdog. I believe he wears an Auburn cap during football season.


  3. MyAuburn MyAuburn says:

    Capn, I always enjoy your posts, don’t always agree but I enjoy them. This one I agree with. One thing you left out about the Bammer game. Before the kick six it was tied 28-28 and they were gassed, dead tired. We still had a lot of gas left in the tank and overtime would have been ours anyway. The kick six was just icing and is still bringing beautiful angst to the UAT faithful.
    Free Shoes U has not played a team this year the caliber of Auburn nor have they had to bust their butt for 4 quarters. If we can keep it close for 45 minutes we are winners IMO.
    We need to put up 40 on them because I don’t think they can put more than that on us.

    • MyAuburn MyAuburn says:

      One more thing. You know the commercials saying It’s only wired if it doesn’t work. Well, I am doing my part. In 2010, before the BCS game, we had a 10 inch snow in Huntsville and I was scared to death that we would lose power and I would have no TV. I moved my motor home out of storage and parked it securely in front of my house complete with its generator and satellite TV. With the single digit temps predicted for tomorrow night around here I have taken the same precaution. I have the coach on the curb at the house ready to be put into service if we lose power tomorrow night. Just like the Blues Brothers, I have a full tank of gas/propane and a pack of cigarettes. Oh, also plenty of Jack Daniels and employees that know I will be late to work on Tuesday.
      War Eagle

      • Acid Reign Acid Reign says:

        …..I’m dependent on Charter Cable, and their foibles. They dropped out a few times during the 2011 title game. My internet is AT&T, which is more stable, generally. I’ve got a UPS on both my computer and monitor, as well as a second UPS on the modem and router in the basement. Hopefully that keeps me on the thread regardless. If I have to momentarily go off Stan and Rod on a battery radio, I’m ready.

        …..Latest on this weather is that basically it’s just going to be artic cold for a few days. Huntsville could see some icing, but Ashley Brand and the ABC 33-40 crew here in the Tragic City were backing off any accumulation issues in our neck of the woods. We won’t have a street full of ice, I don’t think, this time. Although, I’d really LOVE a chance to break my sled out again, this winter!

        • Tiger on the mountain Tiger on the mountain says:

          It’s crazy cold up here, but I think losing feeling in your legs below the waist is just part of the experience……

          • Acid Reign Acid Reign says:

            …..Y’all be safe, ok? I wouldn’t wish this cold on anybody! We got a bit of a view of things watching Wildcard Football in Green Bay on TV, this afternoon. I’ve bundled up today, but it was kind of silly, as it’s still around 50 in the Tragic City, and feels like tornado weather outside. I chopped stuff up most of the afternoon, and made “smothered okra,” which is basically a gumbo dish without the soupy liquid. The weather folk promise that the arctic is coming. I don’t know. My sleeves are still rolled up…

            …..Thanks to our local Publix in Vestavia, I secured a couple pounds of fresh okra (probably grown in the opposite hemisphere!), fresh celery, garlic and yellow onion, as well as a couple of pounds of fresh gulf medium shrimp and the key ingredient, a pound of Conecuh all-pork sausage! In a heavy stock pot with a cup of EV olive oil, we simmered these ingredients down into a life-sustaining stew, and everyone enjoyed the hearty meal. We’re now watching Auburn opponent Arky State in the bowl game in Mobile, and hunkering down for the storm in the morning. Luckily, none of us HAS to venture out there, if we don’t want to!

          • Acid Reign Acid Reign says:

            …..We’ve been concerned, too, with tales of train cars full of oil burning in the Dakotas. Again, stay safe, and help us pull these Tigers through to another national championship! War Eagle!

          • Tiger on the mountain Tiger on the mountain says:

            I’m not too thrilled about taking on of our vehicles to the shop in the morning and then walking the rest of the way to work…..even if it’s only 2 blocks. The wind is howling outside and it was brutal earlier when it was 5 degrees outside…..and that will feel warm compared to what it will be tomorrow….the high is -12. -12. The windchill will be ridiculous. It will be a hat, double scarf, double hood, parka kind of day.

            Casselton, where the explosion occurred, is right outside of Fargo, ND. That’s about 4 hours from us….thankfully we are unaffected.

            The stew sounds fantastic. We simmered some Italian Beef for game day sandwiches tomorrow. I’m going to try to get to work early, as the day wears on, not quite sure how my attention will be 😉

        • gonecoastal says:

          Nice stop!

          When we moved to Daphne from the ‘Ham in ’91, I tossed my ice scraper and sweaters.

          The cold-weather forecasts have got me looking for stuff that I haven’t used in ages!

  4. Tiger on the mountain Tiger on the mountain says:

    Something that I’ve seen mentioned once, and only briefly, was the fact that the games in which the Incredinoles (h/t Col. Angus) ‘struggled’ were games featuring teams with good rushing attacks ( BC looking at you, baby). SO, for those of you at home: Noles have not seen a rushing attacks like AUBURN’S. Will they have the mettle to keep up or come from behind? I wouldn’t know. They’re not my Auburn Tigers. War Eagle, y’all! Let’s DO this!!!

  5. gonecoastal says:

    While I expected immediate improvement this year, the scope of our turnaround certainly surprised me. I’m thankful for that, and that I’ve won a couple of adult beverages from an over zealous ‘Bama fan this season (we went better than 6-6, and we won the ‘Bama game – thanks Tony!).

    During the Miss St. Game, I had to pause the ball game for a moment. When I looked up at the paused game on the TV, I was amazed at the blocking of the Auburn O-line. Every MSU defender had an Auburn player blocking them on the run around right end. From that point on, I felt like we could be contenders in EVERY game that we played. Barring a couple of critical turnovers in the LSU game, we were in that game, too. As the season went on, I felt like we should actually win each game we played, and I’ve had that faith in our team, even during the UGA and ‘Bama games when things were tight.

    From what I’ve read, FSU has excellent athletes. I’ve seen a number of people say that FSU could be contenders in the SEC. Since I haven’t watched them this year I can’t comment on that, except to say that I too have a low opinion of FSU’s schedule strength, and I agree that they haven’t faced a team of AU’s caliber. Georgia, Alabama, and Mizzou couldn’t shut down our running game, and I don’t think that FSU will be able to do it, either.

    Bottom line, I’m keeping the faith, and I think we’ll take care of business on Monday night.

  6. War_Eagle_2010 War_Eagle_2010 says:

    AU reminds me of the Giants in the super bowl a couple years ago against the undefeated Pariots. That Patriots team was “the best ever” and “once in a generation”, sound familiar? Being the king of a crappy conference and beating the stew out of 12 Kentucky’s and one UGA level team doesn’t mean anything. I will reiterate my final score prediction of AU 48 – FSU 37.

    War Eagle!