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Soothe The Pain – Conquer The Corndogs

By on September 26th, 2015 in Member Post Comments Off on Soothe The Pain – Conquer The Corndogs

I have always wanted to post an article or two on this site, share my love for Auburn, maybe some perspective, and possibly discuss a little football in the comments.  Unfortunately, life always seems to get the best of my spare time, and I end up drafting an article in my head that never finds its way to a keyboard. Why? I enjoy writing, or at the very least thinking about writing and romanticizing the thought of being a r and all that sort of thing.

Only problem is, besides the regular life distractions of surviving and raising a family, I am somewhat introverted and incredibly private.  So it really doesn’t take much for me to forget about posting a piece, or allow myself to be distracted until whatever I was thinking about writing is no longer topical.  Sorta like typing out a long comment on Facebook  only to delete the whole thing and scroll on by without saying a word. 

So, why now?

Why all of a sudden am I plugging these words into this blog? Well, there are several reasons, but all of them can be summed up as my love for Auburn. This season hasn’t started out the way we hoped, and sure, we’ve been through this kind of thing before: tons of hype in the off season, high expectations, and then … pft!  We come out flat. I’m looking at you, 2003 and 2005. Unlike those seasons, though, we didn’t lose our first game. Like those seasons, unfortunately, we did lose to LSU in Baton Rouge … like we have every year since 2001. I don’t know about you all, but I can’t stand losing to LSU. Last year was such a treat, wasn’t it?  But those voodoo wielding [explicative deleted] corndogs always seem to find a way when the game is on their turf.

I know Bama is our main rival, and I know UGA is our oldest rival, believe me.  I’m from Georgia and grew up surrounded by barking idiots with no real connection to that university (sound familiar?). So I tend to want to beat UGA more than any other team, except maybe that one across the state. But I cut my teeth on Auburn football in the late 80s and early 90s. My brother was the first of our family to enroll at Auburn in 1989, and back then we were dominating UGA. And Bama … well, we always played them hard and had just changed the Iron Bowl forever with the 1989 victory in Jordan-Hare. To be honest, we were dominating LSU back then too: whooped’em in ’89 and then again in ’92, ’93, and ’94 (ah, The Interception Game, should we take a moment?). But the games vs. LSU always tended to be incredibly exciting, nail-biter, edge of your seat type games (’93 excluded, of course), so I always wanted to win them that much more. 

Then came the 2000’s.

LSU became dominant, and all these weird smelling fans seemed to come out of the woodwork. All of a sudden, anywhere I worked or hung out, there was an LSU fan. Wherever I taught, there would be another teacher there decked out in LSU gear. Oh, the smack talk! Never let appearances fool you: that mild mannered, middle aged fourth grade teacher lady with the coke bottle classes in the frumpy sweater is a demon in disguise and will give you lip about a loss for 364 days following the game. No lie. Not that it wasn’t well earned … we’ve had our chances over the years … missing five field goals … getting burned on a fade to the end zone as time expired. 

Do you realize we have only beaten LSU twice in the last 8 years?  Yep.  2010 and 2013. That’s it. LSU got the better of us in 2007, 2008, 2009, 2011, 2012, and 2014.  Ouch. What kind of voodoo did they put on us after that cigar game? Seriously! Articles have been written already about our LSU problem, so I’m not really here to discuss that. (We’ve also had a Georgia problem of late, but we’ll save that for another post I probably won’t ).

No, I am here to lend a helping hand in coping with our LSU problem.

I figure many in my Auburn family are as frustrated as I am losing to LSU biannually. I am not a coach, nor a player, nor some other third thing, so there’s not much I can do to influence or fix the problem directly. I can, however, help fellow fans by infusing a little levity into the situation. Having a good sense of humor is an essential life quality after all, especially during hard times. Besides, having a “there are more important things in life” perspective regarding tough losses in football is one of the things I have always admired most about the Auburn family.

Having perspective helps enable cordiality and good sportsmanship toward opposing fans, qualities Auburn fans have always been renowned for having in abundance, and having a good sense of humor helps enable perspective. At least, that’s how I figure it works to some degree, although I’m sure there are a bazillion other more complex factors to consider regarding the sportsmanship and all-round nature of the college football fan. Still, I have always been proud to hear stories of how awesome Auburn fans are from fans of other teams, particularly while considering how fans of that school across the state sometimes react a bit too extremely to disappointing losses. But enough about those guys … we are almost to the punchline.

What’s so funny?  How can any humor be infused into this situation?

With an app, what else? Need a little levity in your Auburn football season? Want to soothe the pain of the LSU problem? There’s an app for that. It’s a free game called “Conquer The Corndogs.” My wife came up with the idea about a year ago while I was working through a coding tutorial for a different iOS game. Basically, it puts a new twist on an arcade classic. If you’re like me and grew up playing Pong at home and Pac-Man in the arcade, you’ll likely appreciate the 8-bit simplicity of this hilarious app. 

Remember Space Invaders? Well, this app is like that, but the invaders look like LSU players and officials. There are no official names, of course, but the resemblance is there in all its 8-bit glory. This was my first attempt at making use of the accelerometer in the iPhone (the thing that works the level app), so the ship moves side to side by tilting the phone. Tap to fire. That’s it. Good, clean, simple fun. Bonus: there is even some voodoo in this app – if a player tilts the device back and forth too fast, the ship will malfunction and sort of float off. It’s not a bug; it’s a feature.  😉  Sadly, we can only help those fans with iOS devices (iPhone, iPad, Ipod) for now, but seeing as Apple’s CEO is an Auburn alumnus …

Well, thanks for reading if you’ve read this far. Here is a link to the app on the iTunes App store for anyone who wants to try it out. It’s free … and strangely therapeutic. Here is a link to a support page for the app and a place to leave feedback (although comments here would be better). We would love to hear your opinions and reactions, and even suggestions for future apps. We have a couple more college football themed games in the works, but are always open to new ideas. 
Hope you enjoy the game. 


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