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Iron Bowl Week Misdirection Play: Malzahn to Texas Rumors

By on November 26th, 2013 in Football 18 Comments »

                                  During happier days, when a head coach was in waiting…

It’s the biggest Iron Bowl week EVER and what would it be without a little controversy. If the ESPN BCS talking head trio didn’t give us enough respect Snubday night, the rest of college football isn’t far behind. Even though the whole country wants us to beat Alabama, and more than a few need us to, few seem to think we’re capable of it. And instead of letting Auburn think about the task at hand, some are already speculating about the future of Gus Malzahn, who’s apparently too hot for Tiger fans to keep from slipping into that still-active pipeline to Austin. I guess the whole Saban-to-Texas drivel finally wore out.

Texas blog Burnt Orange Nation had a Fanpost up predicting the Malzahn to Texas rumors were already a done deal, that contracts had been signed, moving companies contacted, and realtors already listing. The thread has since been taken down. It was starting to attract enough Auburn and Alabama fans to get hijacked with Iron Bowl spillover so maybe that’s why it got the axe. Lord knows we’ll fight it out on whatever stage you give us. Or maybe they realized the guy was just full of crap?

It was complete with the typical I don’t really know what I’m talking about b******t that is contained in every threadpost that claims to have such info on the down-low:

  1. Multiple sources, none of them named, if you don’t count a guy I know
  2. Pick has been made, contracts tentatively agreed on
  3. Departing coach (Mack Brown) has given his blessing, as he knows his time draws near
  4. An oft-mentioned coach (Saban) was just a ruse, masking the real target (Malzahn)
  5. Awaiting confirmation on ONE more source (some guy I know)

Probably the only typical coaching change rumor I didn’t see was that the whole deal was on hold pending Jon Gruden’s official declination of the job. He’s the most mentioned former pro coach that’s always on every homer’s short list for dream candidates (even some Auburn fans’ too, I recall)

Just a little more reasoning than your average dirt road Bama alumnus can generate will punch more holes in this Malzahn theory than Trey Mason and Nick Marshall will punch in Alabama’s front seven Saturday.

The arrogance that every Texas boy thinks that every Arkansas boy wants to be a Texas boy is incredible. Everything is bigger in Texas–especially the egos. This is the state that wasn’t big enough for UT and A&M to coexist in. Understandably so, considering Texas blew up college football three years ago by starting their own damned network. That’s what drove the Aggies to get the hell out of Dodge and bolt for the SEC. And yes, I know Dodge City is in Kansas. But it’s Big 12 country so it’s all the same. Texas alone drove off Nebraska, Colorado, Missoura, and A&M out of the Big 12 and caused the great conference grab of 2010-11 that almost blew up college football by threatening to form great Pangea-like mega conference blobs that would have made the old Southern Football conference with thirty-something teams in it look like the withering Big East.

I got news for you, Longhorns. You’re not in the SEC. You’re not on the biggest stage in the country–not even close. We got teams that don’t even win our freaking conference playing for the BCS title now. Outside of Daryl K. Royal, you have only ONE national championship in the last 44 seasons–2005. That ties you with Auburn and Tennessee for fourth in the SEC during the BCS era. Our conference champion is a lock for the title game. Next year we’ll probably start sending two to the playoff. If Auburn loses Saturday, we’ll probably drop from 4th to 6th in the BCS at season’s end–which’ll still put us in the Sugar Bowl. With a prayer, you’ll go to the Sun Bowl.

You’re a big fish in a big Texas pond but we swim in an ocean of competitive waters here in the SEC. Why would a coach at a top tier SEC school step down from the show and play triple A ball? You can lure all you want and throw all your money this way but you’ll never be able to buy yourself respect–or another championship under Mack Brown.

Hey, Texas. I have it on good authority from a guy I know that Will Muschamp and Gene Chizik might be had for little coin these days–if you’re still interested. Maybe Tommy Tuberville too.

(Sorry, Gene)



  1. MyAuburn MyAuburn says:

    Attitude wise, Texas has a lot in common with UAT

  2. Third Generation Tiger Third Generation Tiger says:

    I lived in Austin for several years. Believe me when I say we have much more in common with A&M than with UTA.

  3. Tigerstripe Tigerstripe says:

    BOOM! (drop mic and walk off stage…)

    Yep UT is swimming in the pool by themselves that they built for themselves wondering why no one wants to swim with them…people are tired of telling them how great their pool is…

    Dodge City kids don’t mind the Texas reference because, of course, they all want to be Austin kids. I know that because I know a guy who told me so.

  4. KoolBell KoolBell says:

    Couldn’t have stated this any better!

    ATM is and always will be the better school fit for the SEC. UT has its way in the least12 conference, and if Okie State wasn’t playing there, the least12 would be on life support. Dieing a horrible brand of football death. They are more irrelevant than the ACC, which has at least two and a half teams that are decent to good.

  5. Tiger on the mountain Tiger on the mountain says:

    That’s a shame that that thread was taken down. Honestly, it was full of hilarity. I’ve taken the liberty to reprise some key take home messages below:

    –Dude, Mack Brown has so many houses in Austin. That house was an extra one that he kept for team meetings. So what if he’s selling it? Doesn’t mean anything.

    —Look you guys can flame me all you want. I’m just reporting the *facts* as I know them from unnamed source. I know this guy really well and he wouldn’t give me bad information. It’s pretty much a done deal. I’m just waiting for word from another guy I know, then it will be official. If Auburn looses on Saturday, look for an announcement as early as December 7.

    –Look Nick Saban is about the same age as Mack. There’s no way that Mack would be OK with allowing a coach of the same age come in and make the program better. With Malzahn, he’s younger, so he’s OK. Mack’s given his blessing and everything.

    –Look, we are keeping Malzahn. He is already getting a big raise at the end of the year. We can keep him.

    —No offense barner, but your ‘big money’ can not compare to our really big money. I mean we have deeper pockets than you. That’s a fact.

    Couple of things: Do you see how the UT fans just bandy about the word ‘facts’ as if they have real truthiness behind them? What is really impressive is the amount of power these fans believe that MB wields on and off the field. It’s amazing to me that with all of that power, MB couldn’t will better performances against BYU and Ole Miss (which is what got his seat warm to begin with)…….Honestly, given the turnaround of the season, I would be surprised if we didn’t see MB haunting the sidelines in Austin again. Which would be awesome, because no fanbase melts down quite like Texas does. Everything’s bigger in Texas.

    As for the pundits, I hope that the Tigers knock them out as much as will Bama by keeping those boys on their heels the whole game. We’re ready and we’re comin’!!!!

    War Eagle! Beat Bama!!

  6. yvy says:

    Hey guys,

    I’m the one who posted it. I’m the one who pulled it, not because any
    disagreements with Auburn or Bama fans but just too much attention to it
    and twisting of my post, which was odd, since the exact wording was right
    at the top of the page. I have two friends who are very in tune with what
    is going on inside UT football. On BON I posted about Saban last Spring
    and was given grief only to have it turn out to be proven we had in fact
    talked to him. I posted on the second Sat of our season that D coach Diaz
    would be fired by Mon but word started getting out from all over the place so
    many were obviously leaking the same info, and so by Sunday he was let go a day early.

    These are the only two facts my friend has shared with me, both turned out
    to be true. Then he shared two more pieces of info, that Mack’s lake house is
    for sale in what is called a “pocket listing” meaning not on the MLS and
    that Malzahn was going to be the next Texas coach. For some dumb reason I
    thought I could share it there, next thing I know it was #1 on Google when
    typing “Gus Malzahn to Texas” which I was doing to look for more info to
    see if there was any public info to back up what I was sharing. When I saw
    that I freaked out and took it down.

    Additionally, these types of things are fluid. People change their minds.
    Until the ink is dry, nothing is set. Regarding this, all I said is “I
    choose to believe this”. And out of my two sources, one finds out
    everything first but is sometimes incorrect, the other only has confirmed
    the Saban/Diaz situation in advance of it being public knowledge so my
    comment was simply that until my second more concrete source/friend
    had confirmed it, I didn’t want to post.Once he confirmed it, I did. But
    who really knows? I will say that the belief/word inside Bellmont is that one of
    Saban or Malzahn wants to leave due to their mutual respect for each other.
    Neither one likes the idea of playing each other on a regular basis, whatever
    that is worth.

    Please don’t think the UT fan base is arrogant. The majority does
    not think we can get whoever we want. Many want to see Brown stay
    because they believe we will end up with someone unproven and potentially
    be worse off. Anyway, I hope this helps clear things up. Congrats on your
    great season. I suspect as long as Gus is around, you will have to deal
    with this kind of rumor/speculation from other schools, which is better
    than the hot seat rumors we deal with. Trust me!

    • KoolBell KoolBell says:

      Thanks for coming by and setting the record straight. Of course, Your opinion, and the information you obtain can only be certified by the UT administration, and that will not happen.

      As an Auburn fan, I hope that your info is partially wrong, and that UT has reached out to Gus, and he declined. That way you were right, and we get to keep our coach.

      Get your program turned around, we’d love to play you in the playoffs next season!

      • yvy says:

        Exactly why it is dumb to post what I did! You are right on-
        As far as my info being wrong, that is where I think people twisted my words because I freely admitted that OF COURSE it could be wrong. I was only expressing that the person who confirmed it had only confirmed two other pieces of UT info that was not public knowledge at the time and both were correct so I was choosing to accept his new info as fact until proven otherwise.

        And thanks, we are all desperate to get UT turned around, would love to play you guys as well. Though I think the first order of business for us will be to knock off Aggie when we do. Congrats again on the great season, you guys have earned it.

        • WarEagleAtlanta WarEagleAtlanta says:

          Unless you’re getting serious flack from someone affected by it, leave it up next time, Young Vince Young. Part of being a blogger is stirring the pudding I.e. generating buzz and discussion. And getting serious traffic from google searches is doing just that.

          Sorry to go hard on you. Mad props and respect for coming over and explaining yourself.

        • Tiger on the mountain Tiger on the mountain says:

          I guess that I’m unclear on you guys’ discord with MB. Yes, the season started out dicey, but you guys are killing it now. And by it, I mean Texas Tech, currently. So you’re harping to loose a coach over that?

          I agree with WEA (as I’m wont to do), don’t take it down. It was fodder for the interwebz…..and also don’t kid yourself that it’s erased from the web entirely. So there’s that.

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