I Bet the New Nick Saban Wears Pink Panties
Let’s put aside all this talk about being the best college coach in America. When Nick Saban boarded a plane recently to Indianapolis to whine about the Hurry-Up, No-Huddle Offense to the NCAA Rules Committee, he effectively told his rivals in the SEC that he has no answer for it.
The Old Nick Saban is dead.
The new one wears pink panties and answers to Nicki. The new Saban listens to Spandau Ballet in the car and cries with his wife while watching The Notebook. I bet he sits when he pees.
Forget those national championships. Late in his career, Saban just threw in the towel. He’s announced to the world that he can’t stop Gus Malzahn. Somebody put a sun dress on that statue outside of Bryant Denny Stadium.
Alabama just thought Harvey Updyke was an embarrassment. They are paying Saban $7 million a year and his answer to stopping the HUNH is to fly to Indianapolis and beg for mercy?
Washington St. coach Mike Leach thought it was some kind of joke when he heard the news that Saban was spearheading legislation to slowdown the offense in the name of safety.
“My suggestion is rather than spending a bunch of time coming up with a bunch of really stupid rules, spend that time coaching harder,” Leach said. “Worry about your own team and try to make your product better rather than trying to change the game so you don’t have to do anything.”
Under the proposed rule change, offenses would be prevented from snapping the ball until the 40-second clock hits 29 seconds (excluding the last two minutes of a half).
“The 10-second rule is like asking basketball to take away the shot clock – Boring!” Oklahoma State coach Mike Gundy tweeted Thursday. “It’s like asking a blitzing linebacker to raise his hand.”
Not surprisingly, Saban has been unavailable for comment since his meeting with the committee. Then again, with it being Valentine’s Day on Friday, he’s probably been too busy counting the roses that Ms. Terry sent him on his special day.
Fortunately, most experts doubt the legislation will pass this year. This is not just an Auburn-Alabama issue. Texas A&M and Ole Miss run similar attacks, not to mention most of the Pac-12 and Big 12 conference schools.
Saban being a sissy won’t be enough to move the needle – not yet anyway. But you can bet he won’t stop trying. It’s the sign of an aging coach. Rather than adapt, you just try to change the rules to your favor.
He reminds me of the kid on the playground that cries because the basketball goal is too high to reach. The tough ones adapt, the weak ones go inside and cry to mama.
Somebody find Nicki a shoulder to cry on and get him one of those umbrella drinks while you’re at it.
What a joke.