Give Me One More Last Chance Before I Say We’re Not Through
Some more brouhaha out of Gainesville, Pat Dooley of the Gainesville Sun haswritten a column about the ongoing rumors of Urban Meyer’s impending departure from the Gators, amidst all the speculation that he’d be starting his dream job up in South Bend next fall. With apologies to Vince Gill, let’s give the Urban Legend one more last chance before he says he’s not through. It all started with a Paul Finebaum column last week where FineBama accuses Meyer of a whole host of things:
- Planning a sharp exit left from the national stage once Tebow is gone after this year
- Being a straight-up liar (but not like any other coaches in the region known for their denials)
- Secretly funneling his successor at Utah with the plans to beat Alabama like a drum in the Sugar Bowl right after Florida dismantled them
- Establishing his very own penal league system right in the middle of Gainesville
- Hoodwinking fellow megalomaniac Bernie Maachen into a raise in spite of massive cuts in the general fund at the university
- Risking his stock dropping to zero if he fails to capitalize on his success, a la Billy Donovan, the Gator’s basketball coach
- Co-conspiring with Richard Bruno Hauptmann in the Lindbergh baby kidnapping
But Dooley, known to be a confidant of many a Gator coach, witnessed Meyer make these remarks during a golf tournament for charity, right after he asked permission to address the subject: “I’m not going to Notre Dame. Ever. I’m going to be the coach at Florida for a long time, as long as they want me.”
There was little doubt that the remarks came abruptly, in response to the preceding Finebaum column. Ostensibly, Meyer would have to make the remarks to keep recruiting from being affected, but thus far, the Gators seem to have no problem in that department with 15 commits already for next year. Meyer then ordered Dooley and three other rs to print the remarks. I say ‘ordered’ rather than requested because none of them wanted to have to start paying for their own tickets to Florida Field.
Dooley thinks that the Golden Dome WAS Meyer’s dream job, but that was before he became acclimated to central Florida, winning national championships, plowing fertile recruiting soil and wearing jorts 365 days a year. Dooley’s summation: Urban ain’t going. Finebaum’s? Bon voyage–soon.
We’re all familiar with the term plausible deniability, and we all know that in order to keep up appearances and their own personal stock, coaches must deflect too much attention when it concerns whether or not they’re leaving for another job. I don’t even know why we ask them, honestly.
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