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BREAKING NEWS: Texas Forced to Move on From Saban. Saban Officially 100% Staying at Bama!

By on November 20th, 2013 in Member Post 4 Comments »

Just saw this on and it made me laugh…enjoy.

By Greg Fordeman |
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on November 19, 2013 at 9:52 PM, updated November 19, 2013 at 9:55 PM

TUSCALOOSA, Alabama — Texas has been forced to move on from Nick Saban as a possible head coaching candidate. This just in after Saban cancelled his plans of moving to Texas when assistant coach and head coach-in-waiting Kirby Smart’s head exploded yesterday while he was studying Auburn tape. “Initially we thought Auburn ran the triple option with Marshall, Mason, and Grant and we were starting to panic,” said Saban. “Then I pointed out to Kirby that they were also bringing Louis over as a fourth option so it was more like a quadruple option. His mind was blown, like, literally. I got some of it in my mouth. It was gross.” Since his replacement is no longer available at Bama, Saban is looking for other options to get away from Malzahn. “I’ve started discussing with the board the possibility of moving Bama to the Big 12.” said Saban. When asked what he would do then if Malzahn decided to be the head coach at Texas he said, “I don’t know, I could go coach the Dallas Cowboys, but then I would have to go against Cam Newton, I just can’t win in this situation. Maybe I can go coach in the CFL.”


  1. This thing has been going around for several years now. The sub titling changes but it’s always funny, this one particularly so!

    • That was AWESOME!!!!

      And the article above made me LOL. For serious.

    • zotus zotus says:

      I’ve seen many of the Hitler rants, and some are very well written. So, when I read that a r — who can parody like Clay Travis can parody — said that this one was “officially” the best “Hitler Rant” that he had ever seen — I said, “This I’ve got to see.”

      I was not disappointed. It is pure genius. And, like the best Coen Brothers movie scripts, there are absolutely no wasted lines. The lines that, at first, appear to be throw-away lines are worth the time to research. Some real jewels in this rant.

      P.S. to TOTM: If you like Clay Travis’ article (that you referenced) … you’ll absolutely love the article that Travis wrote that quantified the Updyker Fan Base (quite conservatively, I’d say) as “The 85%” — you know, “the 85% fan base” that Hitler (errr, Saban) spoke about in the video.

      The article is well worth reading, if you haven’t already. The Title is: “The Ten Dumbest Fan Bases in America: #1 The Alabama Crimson Tide” … Clay Travis’ money quote (and, probably will be the sub-title if this article turns into a book): “Let’s be clear about this, Harvey Updyke was not an outlier.” Are you listening out there, ESPN & CBS? 🙂

      Here’s a link:

  2. wde1988 wde1988 says:


    But something is happening right now in recruiting.

    I think bama is coming unglued.


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