Auburn’s disastrous season will finally come to a close tomorrow in the tragic city. The Tigers have left a cornucopia worth of disappointment in their wake and are on the eve of suffering the worst Iron Bowl loss in the history of the program. The transformation from powerhouse to punchline is complete.

Bo Jackson would have totally beaten Forrest Gump in a foot-race AND ping-pong. Yes, I went there.

 Things are most likely going to get out of hand quickly tomorrow. I can’t wait to see how many sweeps we run or how many more carries Onterio McCalebb receives than Tre Mason or what songs the clever people working the sound department at Alabama have decided to play pregame. I also can only imagine how much Finebaum and his legion of goons must be loving the current state of our program. I’m sure it is producing some classic radio that would (if discovered) deter any extraterrestrials from over visiting our planet in hopes of discovering intelligent life. 

 Jay Jacobs has hitched his wagon to Chizik’s. Or has he? If Auburn fans are lucky, there will be a serious house-cleaning at Auburn soon. 

Goodbye white pullover fashion trend. You should have known it would never work out between us. You were too impossible to eat BBQ with.

Thank you Jay, for your excellent buy-out negotiation skills.

 This is the man we entrusted our football program to:

 And while the college football world is apparently turning inside-out and imploding on itself, Notre Dame has crept up like a thief in the night and claimed the number 1 spot in the most recent BCS standings. What the what?!

AND LOU HOLTZZZSSS RISSSSSES!!!!!

Here is a picture of the scene that unfolded as Lou Holtz reacted to Notre Dame’s BCS spot: 

“I’ve been trying to tell you all about thixs for yearsxs.”

So far authorities have confirmed 4 drowning victims while over a hundred remain missing or are presumed dead. It was indeed a tragic event. In honor of their sudden relevancy, Notre Dame will wear a special helmet in their next game honoring one of their most die-hard supporters.

When he was informed of the honor, Regis Philbin promptly removed his shirt and streaked through Manhattan until he was able to be corralled into an alley by the NYPD.

 This wouldn’t be a true Thanksgiving-esque post without me pointing out something for us all to be thankful for. So let’s all be thankful that on Sunday this entire mess will be over and Gene Chizik will likely be trying to figure out how to pack all of his ugly shirts and leather jackets in such a manner that they don’t get mistaken for movie props for a film set in the 1970′s. 

We will never forget you, Glen.

This officially marks the end of my first full season blogging for the Tigers. Needless to say, things DID NOT go as I expected. I hope you all enjoyed it as much as I did. No matter what happens tomorrow, I’ll still take pride in being a member of the Auburn family. Here’s to better times ahead on the plains. War Eagle everybody. I hope you all are able to enjoy the holiday weekend with your families and friends.