TGIF Tiger fans. With 2013 moving at a Malzahn-esque pace, February has arrived seemingly ahead of schedule. Let’s take a look at the college football landscape…
It’s hard to believe there are only 5 more days remaining before National Signing Day. Auburn’s class currently ranks in the top 25 of the major recruiting authorities (Scout, Rivals, and ESPN). Hard to argue with those results considering the time-frame Auburn coaches have been working in. There are still concerns however. This class is lacking defensively. There are a handful of targets that could potentially have big impacts IF landed by Malzahn and Co., but they will be challenging to run down. I don’t think Malzahn sends shockwaves through the SEC with his first class, but he’ll have a rabbit or two to pull out of his hat.
Dr. Phil challenges Te’o hoaxer (Ronaiah Tuiasosopo) to recreate female voice, and in the process breaks a Guinness world record for most awesome challenge ever.
Who hasn’t had this kind of terrible day? One minute you’re sitting down with Dr. Phil having a nice chat about the famous college football player you’re in love with (and tormenting), and the next, you’re being lured into a talking-like-a-girl labyrinth.
Think of Dr. Phil as that guy on your local minor league hockey team that gets about 2 minutes a game and is always yanked because he won’t stop firing slap-shots immediately upon crossing the center line. He’s going for it baby! Want to explain your inner turmoil that led you to becoming a cyber-stalker and orchestrating an elaborate hoax? Well save that crap for Couric. I want to hear the girl voice you had to do EVERYDAY while talking to Manti. What’s even better is that the FBI analyzed audio recordings from the Dr. Phil interview and determined that the female voice heard by Te’o was unlikely created by Tuiasosopo – which narrows the list of remaining suspects down to ‘Charlie’ from Charlie’s Angels and the bad guy from Inspector Gadget.
Get Joe Schad on the phone, football players are eating deer antlers!
In the past week reports have surfaced that indicate Alabama football players purchased and ingested banned supplements prior to their two most recent national championship game appearances. The supplements were purchased from a gentleman named Christopher Key who is co-owner of SWATS; a company that markets and sells his controversial products.
Don’t worry, Alabama isn’t the only school who has players implicated. Jeff Holland (father of Jake Holland) is reported to have purchased healing “microchips” from Key as well. I love that someone was sitting at their desk with all of this information and they had to make sure to include that Auburn players had healing “microchips” and other teams from the SEC (UGA, Ole Miss) had players that had purchased bands/bracelets to wear. It’s very important that no one is deprived of the knowledge of how many mongrels competed in the SEC this year wearing what were essentially Power Balance/Phiten jewelry.
The deer-antler spray is possibly serious business, but the additions of Auburn players getting special chips and other schools getting bands and bracelets is so silly that it makes it all look unfounded and blown out of proportion. It gives the impression that there is some sort of desperation to have more and more schools included in the scandal and even in this day and age that is such weak-sauce. One would have to look no further than Auburn’s previous two seasons to see how legitimate these products actually are.
James Franklin is sorry!
Recently, Vanderbilt Head Coach James Franklin referred to Nick Saban as “Nicky Satan.” And now he’s apologizing. I don’t think that Franklin should have referred to Saban as Satan, but it’s hard for me to not like the competitiveness that lead to the remark. Saban is called out and challenged far too little. His determination, dedication, knowledge of the game, and work ethic are praised at every turn while his over-signing, rule-bending tactics are conveniently glanced over. I’m not calling for a verbal onslaught, but we’re also not peasants under Saban’s rule.
Katherine and A.J. sittin’ in a tree!
Katherine Webb recently told Ryan Seacrest that she could see herself exchanging vows with her current boyfriend, Alabama quarterback, A.J. McCarron. This is only important because it means that right now Brent Musburger is carefully planning how he’ll rush into the ceremony at the last minute, sweep Katherine off of her feet, and escape via jet pack to his private old man island in the Pacific.
WAR EAGLE!!! Everyone have a great weekend!
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