1st and Five: Schadenfreude Coach Fails This Year
By War Eagle Atlanta /firstname.lastname@example.org on August 21, 2012
“If you don’t have anything good to say, don’t say anything at all”. While that may be good advice coming out of your mother’s mouth, it certainly doesn’t help with composing a blog thread. With Auburn getting shut out of the recent AP poll top 25 poll and barely getting any respect from anyone else, it’s tough listening to all the fawning over these other teams with none for your own. Since everyone has us written off, let’s talk about them instead–and out of the side of our mouth.
While it’s hard for to actually hate or even dislike teams in their entirety, coaches are another matter. Each season, it’s coach, and it’s circumstances are distinctive to a team–a perfect storm of admiration, indifference, or hate. It’s also pretty easy actually to dislike some of these guys while still having a grudging respect for their program. Maybe for strategic or tactical reasons you need them to fail in a given year. All I’m saying is don’t get too comfortable with your list. Be flexible!
It might be tempting to just list the coaches of your biggest rivals on here, but you really need to think for a second about what guys have grown too big for their britches and need to be taken down a notch or two on a national stage and scale. And with scalpel and pen in metaphorical hand, I present my 1st and Five list of the coaches I’d enjoy seeing have the biggest face plants in college football this year.
1) Dabo Swinney, Clemson: Pretty easy pick, I’m sure you’ll agree. After his post Auburn game antics last year and with the pending rematch in less than two weeks–I’m sorry. This just in: West Virginia has scored yet again in the Fed Ex Orange Bowl. Yea, might be good to get a little fired up over Auburn with a lake. After winning their first ACC title last season since FSU joined the conference twenty years ago, Clemson’s season did catch fire after the Auburn upset, but crashed in flames with the blow-out bowl loss at the hands of the Mountaineers. I like Clemson the program, as long as they know their place, but their Bammer coach and his big mouth are my top candidates for a little failure-joy this year. Next!
2) Lane Kiffin, Southern Cal: Aren’t you already sick of the USC love-fest since the AP poll came out? Barkley for Heisman? Really? Why is it always the USC QBs that play in a conference with no defense that are touted for the highest honor every single time the Trojans are expected to do well and not on probabtion? And what SEC fan can forget what a basket case Kiffin was during his short tenure down south, leaving Tennesee like it had a disease. This guy is all mouth and no bite and I want to see him wimpering on the sidelines quite a bit. There’s a chance they could play my face PAC team Oregon twice this year–once at home and then a possible CCG rematch. Go Ducks, or would we want Kiffin to run the table only to get clobbered by a SEC team?
3) Urban Meyer, Ohio State: Urban is an asshat no matter what conference he’s in but I only feel comfortable saying that now that he’s left the SEC because there’s always some chance he might still use his vindictiveness against a silly old blog. Hey, I’m only half kidding there. Here’s what I really don’t like about Meyer. The guy hung it up because of health issues after he acheived the pinnicale of success in this sport. I can’t stand the athlete or coach who can’t let go of the spot light. He left because he thought the pressure might kill him. Now he jumps into an even bigger pressure cooker. It’s crazy. I don’t want to see him pay the ultimate price for his vanity. Perhaps some very-below par years in Columbus might put him out to pasture again soon. Or into an early grave. The only saving grace is that it’ll never be as hard or sweet as it was in the SEC.
4) Mark Richt, Georgia. He was on my watch list last year for a meltdown, especially after starting 0-2 against Boise and South Carolina, but the Bulldogs went on a ten-game run that took them all the way to Atlanta. Personally, I like Richt, although his disipline with his players is quite lacking. But he’s under-acheiving in the East, especially with Tennessee in shambles for a few more years and south Carolina under Spurrier still not living up to their billing. Dog fans want more and Richt may not have it in him to deliver. Besides, Auburn has a Georgia problem, losing the last five of six, and anything to upset that apple cart is needed–not to mention opening up recruiting in the Peach State as well. Bulldog fans are even forgetting
5) Mack Brown, Texas: Another coach who’s stayed on too long for his own good. Many deep in the heart of Texas though Mack Daddy wasn’t long for the pasture after Colt McCoy left and that devastating loss to Alabama in the 2009 season national title game. The tapping of Will Muschamp as ‘coach-in-waiting- didn’t sit too well with Mack, who soon reasserted his intentions to stay a spell longer. Factor in Texas blowing up college football two years ago and I think we have a clear cut choice for a schadenfrued performance for 2012.
Who you got?